Chapter 24

Ji — jiujiu?

Su Xingchuan's pupils basically shook. He stared at Xu Zhengdong, frozen.

This time he was the one who had no idea what was happening.

Xu Zhengdong's whole face said he was enjoying every second of this. He couldn't hold back his smile — shoulders shaking, full-on laughing — and he walked over clapped Su Xingchuan on the shoulder. 'Caught on fast enough, I'll give you that. Though I did drop hints. That day at the restaurant, I literally locked the two of you in a room together. Remember?'

Xu Zhengdong shook his head, still laughing. 'You've got the face of a smart guy. What a shame. What a shame.'

And then it all hit Su Xingchuan at once.

No wonder Xu Zhengdong had been so all over the place that day. No wonder Li Xuan never acted guilty — never once gave off the vibe of someone cheating. No wonder Li Xuan hadn't mentioned a boyfriend. No wonder Su Xingchuan had felt that strange sense of familiarity the very first time he'd met Xu Zhengdong —

So it was just the nephew taking after his uncle.

Su Xingchuan felt his brain completely short-circuit. Just now — just now, what had he called Xu Zhengdong? What had he gone and repeated back?

Full neural meltdown.

Xu Zhengdong had already stepped away to give them space, but his laughter was still ringing in Su Xingchuan's ears. The embarrassment was so bad Su Xingchuan could feel sweat beading at his temples.

Li Xuan still hadn't quite pieced it together. He tugged at the back of Su Xingchuan's knit sweater. 'What were you two even talking about?'

Su Xingchuan turned around and pulled him into a hug.

Li Xuan asked, 'Are you cold?'

Su Xingchuan had rushed out without his coat.

But he wasn't cold at all. He was burning up from embarrassment, heat radiating off him — all he could do was hold Li Xuan tighter and bite down on his earlobe to work out some of the frustration.

Li Xuan flinched. 'Hey, what are you doing?'

'I just humiliated myself in front of your uncle.'

Li Xuan was always step behind around Su Xingchuan. 'You… you thought my uncle and I were —?'

'You never told me.'

'You never asked.' Li Xuan looked completely innocent.

'That time I walked you home — I saw you get into his car. And that little nurse at the hospital kept saying there was this very handsome man looking after you. I just assumed you two were together.'

Li Xuan thought about it for a second, and then it clicked. 'So that time you kissed me —'

'Spite,' Su Xingchuan said, then immediately regretted it and scrambled to add: 'Also I genuinely wanted to kiss you.'

'You're such an idiot, Su Xingchuan.'

Though he'd pulled his own stupid move yesterday.

On the embarrassment scale, pretty much a tie.

Su Xingchuan hadn't even opened his mouth before Li Xuan grabbed his arm. 'Don't you dare say it.'

Li Xuan unzipped his puffer jacket and tried to wrap it around Su Xingchuan, but he wasn't as tall and his shoulders weren't as wide, so the best he could manage was getting it around Su Xingchuan's arm.

Su Xingchuan cooperated, bending down slightly to bring his face close, a barely-hidden smirk in his eyes. 'One kiss and I won't say a word.'

Li Xuan stuck out his lips — but didn't move.

Dr. Li was slowly dropping the indifferent act, and Su Xingchuan felt his heart lurch again, helpless against it. He pressed a kiss to Li Xuan's cheek first, then to the corner of his mouth.

When Li Xuan finally leaned in, Su Xingchuan murmured: 'Just as much of an idiot as me, hm, maotou.'

Li Xuan went scarlet and spun away.

Too bad the elevator doors were closed — nowhere to go. Su Xingchuan had him trapped against them in seconds, pressing kiss after kiss to his cheek. 'Come to my place tonight. Yeah?'

Li Xuan crossed his arms and let out a lofty little hm.

.

Xu Nianzhi had someone track down Su Xingchuan's mother. She made the trip to Su Xingchuan's hometown herself and met with He Ning in person.

They'd arranged to meet at a teahouse. Xu Nianzhi arrived early. A few minutes later, He Ning walked in looking anything but pleased.

Xu Nianzhi smiled warmly. 'Ms. He, hello.'

No small talk. He Ning sat down and got straight to the point. 'I don't approve. I will never approve of them being together.'

'I understand how you feel. Twenty years ago, when my own brother first told me he liked boys, I reacted almost exactly the same way. I felt like the floor had dropped out. How could this be? I couldn't make sense of it — my parents were both educated people, so how did they end up with a gay son?'

'Your brother too?'

Xu Nianzhi laughed, a little helplessly. 'Yeah. So when my own son told me he also liked boys, I wasn't quite as shocked. I spent a long time asking myself what I'd done wrong — what step I'd missed that made them turn out this way. But I couldn't find the answer. Our home, my relationship with my husband, the way we loved our kids — none of it seemed off to me. Maybe he was influenced by his jiujiu.'

'Why didn't you stop it?'

'I tried to stop my brother. He pushed back hard, and to this day he's never had a stable partner. I don't want to make the same mistake with my son.'

He Ning's voice sharpened. 'So you just let your son destroy mine?'

Xu Nianzhi went quiet. She knew the moment the conversation hit this wall, it was over — they'd leave on bad terms. So she picked up her phone and held it out to He Ning.

It was a photo from that night — Su Xingchuan walking Li Xuan home, Li Xuan clutching a stack of certificates. Li Xuan had refused to go inside, so Su Xingchuan stood at the bottom of the steps coaxing him. The porch light was warm, and it fell soft on both their faces.

There were tear tracks on Su Xingchuan's cheeks, but his mouth was curved up in a smile — the kind that looked genuinely, quietly happy. He was leaning down to touch foreheads with Li Xuan.

He Ning stared at the photo.

'Ms. He, your son is exceptional — I can see that. He carries himself well. He's warm, he's polite.' Xu Nianzhi paused. 'But my son is good too. He's a good kid.'

'These past seven years apart — he went abroad alone to study, then came back and went straight into hospital work. Long hours, night shifts, constantly busy. Honestly, with what our family has, he never needed to work a day in his life. I could support him forever and he knows that. But he wanted to stay busy. Because busy meant not thinking about Xingchuan.'

Something in He Ning's rigid expression began to soften.

'Ms. He.'

He Ning suddenly noticed that Xu Nianzhi hadn't called her 'Mrs. Su' or 'Xingchuan's mom.'

'Ms. He — has Xingchuan actually been happy, these past few years?'

He Ning's eyes slid away.

'They're only twenty-seven,' Xu Nianzhi said. 'They've got their whole lives ahead of them. Why don't we give it two more years? See how they do. See if they're really happy. Is that okay?'

He Ning looked at her. Xu Nianzhi had soft, pretty features — even now, you could see the girl she'd been. But her words landed harder than her looks. They found He Ning somewhere that mattered, one mother to another. She'd spent the last two days in a kind of frantic grief, and she was worn out by it. Xu Nianzhi's words came through like the first warm air of spring — and in what had felt like a dead end, He Ning caught a glimpse of another way through.

What if they were happy?

She'd never actually asked herself that. What if they were happy?

Seven years. No matter how she pushed, how she dropped hints, even when she'd put girls right in front of Su Xingchuan — nothing. He just kept grinding away in Jiangcheng, alone. On paper, everything looked good. His income went up every year, the gifts he brought home got nicer every year, he'd replaced all the old furniture, and the neighbors couldn't stop talking about what a success he was. But she knew. Her son wasn't happy.

If Li Xuan could bring that back —

He Ning didn't say anything.

Not yes. Not no.

She just let out a long breath, got up, and walked out, the weight of it trailing behind her.

Xu Nianzhi watched her go until she disappeared through the door of the tea room.

.

That evening Su Xingchuan made dinner plans with Xie Liang and Xue Ningzi.

It was also the first time in seven years that Su Xingchuan formally introduced Li Xuan to his friends.

At the table, Xie Liang rode the liquor and kept needling Li Xuan, until Li Xuan got so annoyed he started kicking blindly at Su Xingchuan's leg under the table.

Su Xingchuan laughed and smoothly cut Xie Liang off.

Xue Ningzi had been watching Li Xuan the whole night. After dinner, while Su Xingchuan was settling the bill, she pulled him aside and murmured, 'I think he really likes you. He was looking at you the whole time you were talking.'

Su Xingchuan glanced back. Li Xuan was standing on the steps with both hands shoved in his pockets, his whole body deliberately turned away.

Same as he used to look when he'd catch Su Xingchuan talking to Yu Qinglan. Su Xingchuan couldn't help smiling. Progress, though, he thought. He's not storming over to make a scene.

Su Xingchuan turned back to Xue Ningzi, very pleased with himself. 'He doesn't just like me. He's also wildly jealous.'

Xie Liang was half-drunk, words starting to slur, and still couldn't resist needling Li Xuan: 'Hey, little Dr. Li — that day he sent me to catch you in the act, I drove all the way to the Zhongjin Group entrance chasing you guys —'

He didn't get to finish. Xue Ningzi shoved him away.

Li Xuan watched them, something clearly on the tip of his tongue.

He wanted to say goodbye. Or maybe congratulations on the wedding.

But the moment slipped past him.

Su Xingchuan came over. 'Let's go home.'

He held out his hand, and Li Xuan took it.

Su Xingchuan had drunk enough that he wasn't driving. He checked his phone — the restaurant to Xinchen Residence was less than two kilometers. He looked up. 'Cab?'

Li Xuan shook his head. 'Let's walk.'

So they walked back hand in hand.

Su Xingchuan talked for most of it — things that had happened after graduation, life filling in the gaps. Somewhere in the middle he noticed Li Xuan had gone quiet. 'What about you, Xuanxuan?'

'Nothing worth telling.'

Su Xingchuan frowned. 'How can that be?'

'I'm not that interesting. I don't have many friends. Most of the time it was just jiujiu keeping me company.'

It was edging toward a pity play — and Su Xingchuan fell for it completely.

Something soft crossed his eyes. He laced his fingers through Li Xuan's and said, 'I'll keep you company from now on.'

Li Xuan blinked. The corner of his mouth lifted.

Worried Li Xuan was cold, Su Xingchuan zipped his down jacket all the way up, folded the sweater collar over the top, and snapped every clasp on his hood. Then: 'Why didn't you wear a scarf?'

Li Xuan tilted his head back to look at him and didn't answer the question. Instead, out of nowhere: 'Su Xingchuan. I missed you so much.'

Su Xingchuan went still — and then he saw it. A shine in Li Xuan's eyes.

He pulled Li Xuan in against his chest.

'If you'd been awful to me, fine, whatever. But you were so good to me. When we broke up I was — I was devastated. I didn't want to say any of those things. I just wanted to be with you.'

Su Xingchuan's voice caught. 'I know.'

'I hurt my hand during my internship. Worse than that time — right in the palm. And you weren't there.'

Li Xuan buried his face in Su Xingchuan's shoulder.

Muffled: 'I hate you.'

Su Xingchuan couldn't imagine how his spoiled little disaster had gotten through those years without anyone to fuss over him. All he could do was hold Li Xuan tight and murmur, 'I'm not leaving again. I promise, baby.'

Su Xingchuan brought Li Xuan home.

The door had barely clicked shut before he had Li Xuan pinned against the wall.

Li Xuan made a soft, pleased sound, and that was it — every last shred of Su Xingchuan's restraint went out the window.

Winter is genuinely a terrible season for this kind of thing. Su Xingchuan wrestled with Li Xuan's puffer jacket for an embarrassingly long time before finally getting it off and tossing it onto the back of a nearby chair. Then he pulled Li Xuan in by the waist and bent down to kiss him. Li Xuan looped his arms up around Su Xingchuan's neck and kissed back, and the whole thing caught like a spark to dry kindling.

His hands roamed Li Xuan's waist, pressing him closer. Seven years of missing each other — neither of them had any control over it. Su Xingchuan's breathing went heavy, and then, a second later, he stopped dead.

He sucked in a sharp breath and pulled back from Li Xuan's lips.

Li Xuan's eyes had gone hazy, soft and a little dazed, like he'd just wandered out of a dream. He blinked. 'What's wrong?'

Su Xingchuan dropped his full weight against Li Xuan and groaned. 'Dr. Li. You have to take responsibility for me. For the rest of my life.'

Li Xuan caught up. 'Is it still hurting?'

Su Xingchuan said nothing.

Li Xuan thought about it, then offered, very helpfully: 'It's okay. You might not be up for it right now, but you used to be pretty good.'

'………'

'Men do start going downhill after twenty-five, it's totally normal —'

He didn't get to finish. Su Xingchuan kissed him quiet.