Chapter 14

Su Xingchuan got two baffling messages that day, back to back. The first one was from Yan Tao.

Yan Tao: [Xu Zhongjin Group's Director Xu has personally designated you to handle the financing project end-to-end. Meeting at 2 p.m. to go over the contract and next steps.]

What? Xu Zhengdong asked for him specifically?

He hadn't even had a chance to reply when Xu Zhengdong's message came through right after: [Sizhuan Private Dining on Changting Street. 5 PM.]

Su Xingchuan's mind went completely blank.

He was about to go find Yan Tao when Zhou Jing came barreling in.

Zhou Jing had just found out that Xu Zhengdong handed the Zhongjin project to Su Xingchuan, and he was furious — pointing at Su Xingchuan and calling him a two-faced snake, a backstabber, all smiles to your face and knives behind your back.

Xie Liang happened to be walking by, caught the tail end of it, and came straight in to plant himself in front of Su Xingchuan. 'All smiles to your face and knives behind your back?' he said, voice dripping. 'Manager Zhou, are you describing yourself? Pretty accurate, actually.'

Zhou Jing slammed a hand on the desk. 'You —'

Xie Liang had never had any patience for Zhou Jing. Different departments — nothing to lose. Once he got started he couldn't stop: 'Xingchuan was out on medical leave for two weeks and you spent the whole two weeks whispering in Yan Zong's ear, all to poach the Zhongjin project. And what did you get? Nothing. Was it worth it?'

'It's none of your business!' Zhou Jing snapped.

Lucky Yan Tao was there to get between them, or it might've actually come to blows. Zhou Jing had no choice but to slink back to his office.

Leaving Su Xingchuan alone with a pounding headache.

Once the contract was signed, Xu Zhengdong would be half his boss.

For however long this project ran, he'd be seeing Xu Zhengdong every day. Bowing and scraping to his own romantic rival. Smiling when he didn't mean it...

He couldn't do it.

It was the first time in his career he'd actually flinched from a job. It wasn't that he was afraid of Xu Zhengdong — he just had no idea what footing to stand on with him. If they were proper rivals, fine he could work with that. But what was he right now? The other guy?

He wasn't even that. Li Xuan had never given him so much as a warm look. He was just the one holding on, white-knuckling a feeling Li Xuan had already let go of.

What a joke.

Low mood. Body not cooperating either.

He'd been running on empty lately — no real rest after the surgery, no recovery time to speak of. Minimally invasive or not, it had still taken something out of him. He sat alone in his office chair and just breathed for a while.

Moments like this were when he missed Li Xuan the most. When he ached for those mornings he'd woken up with Li Xuan in his arms.

He went back and forth all day. In the end he grabbed his coat, got in the car, and drove to Sizhuan Private Dining on Changting Street.

He didn't register the street name at first. It was only when he drove past the bar — the one where Li Xuan had gotten drunk that night — that it clicked. Wait. Was Xu Zhengdong onto something?

He kept himself calm. Or tried to.

He fixed his collar and smoothed his hair in the car, then stepped out and walked toward the restaurant Xu Zhengdong had named. The entrance was easy to miss — just a small wooden gate done up in an antique style. But once you were through, the place opened up into something else entirely.

Su Xingchuan told the host, 'I'm here for Director Xu from Zhongjin.'

The host understood immediately, smiled warmly, and led him to private room one. 'Right this way, Mr. Su.'

Su Xingchuan walked in. The room was spacious and Xu Zhengdong was the only one in it. He looked up at the sound of footsteps, like he'd been waiting a while.

'You made it.' Xu Zhengdong said.

Su Xingchuan didn't sit. He stood at the edge of the table, tamping down the jealousy and the bitterness churning underneath, and kept his face easy and open. 'It's been a while, Director Xu.'

'It really has.' Xu Zhengdong still had that look — the one that measured you from a distance, from somewhere slightly above. Then the corner of his mouth curved. 'So what's been keeping you so busy? Busy enough to hand off my project to someone else?'

He'd brought up the project. Su Xingchuan had no choice but to explain.

'Sorry, Director Xu. I've been dealing with some health issues.'

'Health issues?'

Xu Zhengdong raised an eyebrow. 'And yet the night before last, someone carried Xiaouan out of a bar. That wasn't you?'

Su Xingchuan's heart slammed.

He'd been right. Xu Zhengdong had found out.

Xu Zhengdong kept going, almost to himself. 'Xiaouan's what, a hundred seventy-six centimeters? And you carried a full-grown man out of there like it was nothing. I'm really not seeing this health problem you mentioned.'

Su Xingchuan's expression shifted.

Xu Zhengdong knew. He'd checked the security footage.

That's why he'd set this meeting on Changting Street.

What else had he seen? Li Xuan curling into him on that couch? Or just the part where he'd carried Li Xuan out?

Su Xingchuan couldn't even get his breathing straight.

Xu Zhengdong was enjoying this. He tilted his head, amused. 'Right — I never did tell you, I'm Xiaouan's —'

He didn't get to finish.'I know what you are to him,' Su Xingchuan cut in.

'How?' Xu Zhengdong looked genuinely puzzled.

Su Xingchuan's hands were fists at his sides, something sharp and bitter burning in his eyes. 'Mr. Xu, that night was entirely my decision. It had nothing to do with Li Xuan — he was drunk, nothing happened.'

Xu Zhengdong thought: good. My read was right.

Su Xingchuan paused a few seconds. Then he made up his mind. 'But I have feelings for Li Xuan. I have years.'

'Is that so.'

'Mr. Xu, professionally you're the client and you're my senior — I should be protecting this opportunity. But since I'm saying it out loud, I'm not holding anything back. If you treat him well, I won't touch what you two have. If you don't — Su Xingchuan's jaw set. '— I will take him back.'

'..'

Xu Zhengdong went quiet.

What.

What does 'I won't touch what you two have' even mean.

How exactly would someone interfere in an uncle-nephew relationship —

Then it clicked. Xu Zhengdong sat up straight, the whole thing suddenly making sense.

Su Xingchuan had the wrong idea about him and Xiaouan.

No wonder the guy had spent three brutal months grinding on the financing deal, then just — walked away from it out of nowhere.

Xu Zhengdong got his head straight. Work wasn't the issue right now.

The issue was: Xiaouan said he still liked Su Xingchuan, Su Xingchuan said he still liked Xiaouan — wasn't that basically a perfect match waiting to happen?

Wait. He remembered. Su Xingchuan had a boyfriend.

This guy had a boyfriend?

Xu Zhengdong looked him over.

The thing he respected most about Su Xingchuan was the man's grip on himself. He'd put him through the wringer more than once — sat on documents for days just to see what he'd do — and Su Xingchuan had absorbed every bit of it without letting it show. Right now too: he was clearly right at the edge of anger, but he was holding it.

Both hands still balled into fists. Standing tall beside the table, chin up, spine straight. Not a single crack.

Xu Zhengdong thought: by every measure, a steady, serious kid. And what he'd said just now — that landed. So how was someone like that out here playing both sides? Had to be more to it.

That was when Li Xuan appeared in the doorway.

He'd gotten Xu Zhengdong's call the moment he clocked out.

'Jiujiu's having dinner with Su Xingchuan tonight,' Xu Zhengdong had said. 'You want to come?'

Normally when Xu Zhengdong called him out to eat, he said no without thinking. This time he didn't hesitate. 'Yeah.'

Then immediately regretted how that sounded, and added, voice flat: 'The hospital's been busy. I might not even make it.'

Xu Zhengdong laughed softly and let it go.

Li Xuan had called him back twice on the way over. 'Jiujiu. Don't say anything weird. He has a boyfriend. Don't do anything — just don't make it weird, okay?'

Xu Zhengdong's romantic history was, to put it kindly, a catalog of questionable decisions. But for his nephew's sake, he was turning over a new leaf. 'Okay. I won't push him.'

Xu Zhengdong had said okay, but Li Xuan was still uneasy. He knew what Jiujiu was capable of — the man could absolutely knock Su Xingchuan out cold and have him gift-wrapped in someone's bed by morning.

He bolted out of work the second his shift ended, took a cab straight to the restaurant, and after a quick word with the staff, went straight for the private room — then stopped dead in the doorway. Su Xingchuan was standing inside, his back to the door.

Li Xuan saw the broad line of his shoulders, the slight dip of his head, and something locked up in his chest. He couldn't make himself walk in.

Then Xu Zhengdong called out: 'Xiaouan, come in.'

That snapped him back. Su Xingchuan turned around.

Their eyes met. Something crossed Su Xingchuan's face — a flicker of hurt, there and gone — and Li Xuan's breath caught without him meaning it to.

He almost never saw that look on Su Xingchuan. Most of the time Su Xingchuan was warm, easy, sure of himself — endlessly patient with every petty mood Li Xuan had ever thrown at him. He didn't do sad. Except for that stretch right before the breakup.

When Li Xuan had insisted it was over, Su Xingchuan had looked at him exactly like this. Asking why. Again and again, asking why.

Seeing that look again knocked the air out of him. Something jammed in his throat. But what could he possibly say?

It was done. What was there left to do?

'Xiaouan, come sit down.'

The table sat eight, so three felt open. Li Xuan had meant to take the seat between Xu Zhengdong and Su Xingchuan, but Xu Zhengdong stood up before he could, caught him by the wrist, and pulled him down beside him. 'Here. Sit here'

Xu Zhengdong leaned close to his ear. 'Don't call me Jiujiu.'

Li Xuan frowned. 'What?'

'Don't ask yet,' Xu Zhengdong murmured. 'Jiujiu's running recon.'

Li Xuan pressed his lips together and sat down without a word. Xu Zhengdong turned to Su Xingchuan. 'Xiao Su, sit.'

Su Xingchuan's expression was unreadable, but he sat.

He ended up directly across from Li Xuan. Their eyes kept colliding, then skidding away.

Su Xingchuan didn't want to look at what was in front of him. Li Xuan sat at Xu Zhengdong's side — and despite the gap in their ages, Xu Zhengdong didn't read as old. He was still polished, still easy in his skin, watching Li Xuan with that warm, attentive smile. Exactly the way Su Xingchuan used to look at him.

Funny thing was, Li Xuan always had that cold look on his face — like an aloof little cat who couldn't be bothered — and yet somehow he kept making people smile at him anyway.

Su Xingchuan dropped his gaze. The heat in his chest burned hotter.

But underneath the jealousy, something else nagged at him. Something off.

Why did Li Xuan's eyes look so much like Xu Zhengdong's?

Xu Zhengdong broke the silence with his little performance, turning to Li Xuan like he was making a proper introduction. 'Xiaouan, Xiao Su was your classmate at university, right? He's heading up the Zhongjin financing project now. Very capable.'

Li Xuan stayed ice-cold. A flat 'mm,' fingers already picking at the napkin folded into a sailboat.

Su Xingchuan thought: here we go. He's going to unfold the napkin.

Sure enough, the next second, Li Xuan pulled it apart.

Whenever he was uncomfortable, that's what he did — worked something with his hands to burn off the restlessness. Back then it had been Su Xingchuan's hem he'd fidget with, or Su Xingchuan's watch, unclasping and reclasping it over and over. Or he'd throw both legs across Su Xingchuan's lap and murmur: let's go somewhere. Just us.

Li Xuan had always been like that. A little kid, even then.

Xu Zhengdong made small talk with Su Xingchuan about the project for a few minutes, and by then food had started arriving in a steady stream.

Xu Zhengdong made a show of piling food onto Li Xuan's plate, all exaggerated warmth. Li Xuan kept glancing across at Su Xingchuan. Xingchuan hadn't touched his chopsticks. Jaw tight. Expression unreadable.

'Xiao Su,' Xu Zhengdong said, pivoting smoothly, 'our Xiaouan mentioned you have a boyfriend — and he's a colleague too? You should bring him out sometime, the four of us can have dinner.'

Su Xingchuan and Li Xuan both looked up at the same time.

Su Xingchuan had almost forgotten — he'd used Xie Liang as a prop, a flimsy shield for what was left of his pride. He definitely hadn't expected Li Xuan to have passed that detail along to Xu Zhengdong, down to the last particular.

That close, huh.

His whole confession, his little act of defiance — it was a joke. It had always been a joke.

Win Li Xuan back? He didn't even have the standing to say those words out loud.

The ache in his chest was close to suffocating. His face didn't show any of it. He curved his mouth into a smile and said, 'Of course. He's actually been wanting to meet you, Xu Zong.'

The light drained out of Li Xuan's eyes.

The napkin in his hands was twisted past recognition.

Xu Zhengdong remembered the question Li Xuan had asked him earlier, so he asked it on his behalf: 'Xiao Su — do your parents know you're into men?'

'Yeah.'

'They okay with it?'

'I never brought it up directly, so I don't really know. Probably fine. My parents are pretty open-minded.'

Li Xuan ducked his head lower. The back of his nose stung with something he didn't want to name.

Su Xingchuan had no idea.

Idiot.

Xu Zhengdong caught the dip in Li Xuan's mood. He rested a hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, then turned back to Su Xingchuan. 'This boyfriend of yours — met after you started working?'

Su Xingchuan couldn't figure out what Xu Zhengdong was after.

This had crossed every reasonable line between a boss and an employee. Even between rivals, there was no reason to be digging into any of this.

He glanced up and saw that hand sitting on Li Xuan's shoulder. Something flared hot in his chest. He hadn't planned to answer — but the words came out anyway, low and flat. 'No After uni. After the breakup.'

Li Xuan stared at him.

Su Xingchuan held his gaze, each word deliberate. 'I actually owe my college boyfriend for that. I used to think he's the one who turned me. Figured out later that's not really how it works — you're just born that way. I could never only like —'

He didn't get to finish. Li Xuan cut him off.

'Don't.'

Even knowing Su Xingchuan had someone new — he couldn't sit here and hear it said out loud. Not a single word of it. It was like back when Su Xingchuan would head off to debate club, and Li Xuan would snap at him: don't go.

Li Xuan had always had his list of don'ts. Su Xingchuan had always had his okays. Seven years later and nothing had changed — Su Xingchuan still listened to him.

Things got awkward.

Su Xingchuan and Li Xuan both went quiet.

Xu Zhengdong glanced between them and had the sudden, distinct sense that he was in the way. He thought about it for a second, then cleared his throat, picked up his phone with exaggerated purpose, and said deadpan: 'So, uh... something came up at the office.'

Su Xingchuan couldn't sit still.

Xu Zhengdong pushed back his chair. 'I should go handle it. You two eat — Xiaouan, have some more shrimp.'

He grabbed his jacket and was gone. Su Xingchuan didn't even have time to stand up and say goodbye before the door opened and closed. He sat there, lost. What exactly was happening right now? Xu Zhengdong had just left him alone in a private room with Li Xuan. What was that supposed to be — a test?

The room was very quiet.

Li Xuan didn't want to waste a single minute alone with Su Xingchuan, but he had no idea what to say. So he just kept his head down and worked on the shrimp.

Of course, the mantis shrimp were not cooperating. He'd been at it for a while and hadn't managed to get one out cleanly. He was starting to lose his patience — and then Su Xingchuan set a bowl of shelled shrimp, already sauced, right beside his hand.

Su Xingchuan settled into the seat next to him and started shelling shrimp the way he always had — quietly, steadily, without complaint. And he lectured the way he always had too: 'I've told you so many times. You have to twist the shell first.'

Li Xuan stared at him.

Then he looked back down. 'Hate you,' he muttered.

Su Xingchuan's hands went still.